Sleep is the word of the day.

Sydney was up crying again last night. I think she is teething (along with finishing off a cold) and she will not take her tylenol. We have the kind that melt in your mouth (tablets, I wish they had the strips), but she wasn't interest last night. We thought about forcing the liquid down her mouth, but she was so upset anyway we thought it might not work and then she would be even more awake. I think Adam finally let her cry it out sometime after midnight. Morgan gave Adam a fun time while I went out to eat with friends last night. When I got home I fed him and he was acting "colicky" so I decided to try some Gripe Water. He gagged and spit up all over me, himself, and the kitchen floor twice. Then he fell asleep. Not sure what to think about that.

I did get to go to Target after dinner and I bought something interesting. I was looking for bed rails for the twin bed in Sydney's room. We are just using the mattress on her Jenny Lind bed (actually the box is under it on the floor and the mattress is just sitting on top of that). I new I might have a dilemma with traditional rails because of the mattress set up. The answer to the problem may be BedBugz inflatable bed bolsters. The ones I bought are a dark denimish chambray. The cool thing is that the are slip covers for the inflatable parts so I can make them cute by adding fabric or a monogram (I might not do the monogram since Morgan will use them one day, but that would be really cute). We are trying to get Sydney used to the bed by having it in her room and letting her get on it. Right now she has a sheer bed tent on it and she loves that. That may help or it may make her thing that the bed is for playing. She is still such a baby that I don't think we will make the move until Christmas or her birthday in January. I wish she could go ahead because I am really trying to get rid of some of the extra furniture in her room. I have decide to not have a changing table in her room anymore. I can use Morgan's for the rest of the time. I am not brave enough to try potty training yet.

As an update to Morgan's feeding. I fed him at 7:30 instead of 7:15 this morning and I am hoping that riding in the car to take Adam to the airport will help him wait until 11.

Sleep Training

I am going to attempt to follow the same method that I did with Sydney in getting Morgan to sleep through the night. I used a book called 12 Hours by 12 Weeks. It is really a good book that I order through Amazon (the link is to her sight). I think I started at 10 weeks with Sydney instead of 6 or 8 weeks like the book recommends, but it sure did work. In fact, she (the author) says that you can use if for any age past 4 weeks and a certain weight. I thought I would document my efforts with Morgan by giving a few updates along the way.

For weeks 6-8 you are supposed to make sure that the baby is eating every 3 hours and not less (such as every 2.5 hours). Morgan is already doing that so we can really move on.

The first step is to stretch feedings to every four hours during the day. You start by focusing on the first feeding of the day, which will be or 7 or 7:15 for him. I can't decide. This will also be his bed time in the evenings. Sydney wakes at 7 so it might not be the best time for him to be after her so I am not trying to do two things at once. So tomorrow morning if he wants to eat at 6:45 then I will try to hold him off as long as I can every morning until he reaches 7:15. He next eating time will be 11:15 and you do the same as the in morning. I think you can go for 4 on all the hours that day if you want or you can focus on each feeding separately until it is set and then move to the next. The thought is that he will be hungry from waiting long and will eventually start eating more at feedings. He will be consuming the same amount of food during the day, just by fewer feedings.

Step two is to start helping him drop off night feedings tracking how much he eats at each feeding and...well, we are a bit away from that so I will explain it when we get there.

Sleepy time/Mother's Morning Out

I said I wasn't going to complain about being tired anymore, but this is more of a story or illustration of my current state. Just now I dozed on the couch while Morgan was in his swing. I jumped up in a panic thinking that I had slept right through Sydney's pick up time for Mother's Morning Out. It took me a few seconds to see that it was 1:45 and remember that I had picked her up at 12. She is currently napping.

One of the reason's I love MMO (Mother's Morning Out) is that it gets me out of bed and showered, I have the morning to do things around town or the house, and I have a couple of hours in the afternoon while she naps. It is like having a day off and I can tell that she has a great time there. Yea!

Hello, Monday!

Another week. I have decided to stop complaining about being tired. Life goes on and I must get back into my normal life. We had friends over for a casual supper last night. Pesto Crusted Grilled Cheese and Tomato Basil Soup. This was after my last run for the week. I have now completed week one of the Couch to 10k program. It was the easiest week and I have to say I don't feel prepared to start the next week. There is quite a difference in the distance and the amount of running. I am making plans to paint Sydney's room. There are a million other things we need to do, but I need to get the blankets off her blinds (to block he light for naps) and make some curtains. The windows and ceilings are so tall that I think I need to go with gingham because it is so cheap. I may make a valance out of something else that costs more. I love the Dick and Jane fabric by Michael Miller. Ok, I just noticed when I was creating that link that it is cheaper than it used to be. I should go look at it now (and do some laundry). Later!

Dear makers of hyoscyamine sulfate,

Do you have a fan club I could join? I am liking you so much right now, though I am wondering why I am awake at 1 am instead of sleeping and enjoying the fact that my son is not using his toots as my personal all night alarm clock. Now, I read about your side effects and I am fully prepared to be annoyed with you at a later date, but for now I would like to thank you for what seems to be some relief if only for a night. Do you make sleeping pills for mommies?

Our night

I was so tired last night, but I cleaned anyway. My mom came over and held Morgan (he wants to be held at night) so I could get some things done. It was so great. I see now why I don't get anything done. I thought that it was because I was tired at night, but I think it is because I am tending to kids all night. Morgan did ok with his sleep and feedings last night. I have just resigned myself to the fact that I have to hold him until he is good and sleepy after each feeding. I did call the doctor's office this morning and told them that we need medicine for his gas problem. We have tried everything we can at this point and nothing helps. Now I am trying to figure out getting the prescription. I couldn't remember where Adam had our stuff from Kroger sent and I told the office the wrong pharmacy. I hope I can get it worked out soon. I am ready to try it on him and I am praying that it will be the answer to his problems and that he can get some relief.

Sydney was up at 4 AM crying. I let her get in the bed with me, but she wasn't happy until I cut on the tv. Once Morgan was ready to eat, she was unhappy again. I finally had to just put her to bed. I hate to let her cry for even a few minutes because she is so stuffy already, but she cries all day long at various things so there is no way to avoid it anyway. She only cried for a few minutes and then slept until 7:30.

He looks so cute in his new outfit. I didn't have much in 0-3 and for good reason since he is already in 3-6 month stuff. My mom bought him some Trumpette Johnny socks and they look so cute. I am going to take a picture tonight after his bath.

Yesterday evening (have you ever noticed that people never say last evening or yesterday night?), Shelley and I went for our third run. We are only run/walking a mile so we aren't anything spectacular yet, but we sure did get a good workout. We decided to take the babies so I wouldn't have to wait until my Mom left work. Not having a jogging stroller may have been part of the problem, but I am more likely to believe that it was us being out of shape. You should have heard the noise we were making on the last leg down my street. It was embarrassing.

kisses

Video taken with the laptop.

There she is.

Sydney said her first real sentence today. It would make sense that it was "there she is". We have only said it a thousand times. "Where's Sydney? There she is!" She started by making a noise that sounded like "there she is" and then as I rounded the corner she just said it as plain as day. I didn't expect it to affect me the way it did, but I actually teared up a little bit. We have been waiting on her to start talking more and "there she is" finally starting to really tell us something!

Funny Girl

Sydney has an unusual sense of humor.

Hot Food

I have noticed over the past few weeks that I have not been able to eat a without Morgan interrupting it. It is like he has a radar for things like that. With two kids you barely have time to eat. If Sydney is in her highchair eating in the kitchen then I really need to take that time to clean the kitchen or do other things that require her to be confined. This is part of the reason that I have been able to lose weight consistently since Morgan's birth. I guess this is a good thing. Last night I started to feel that cold coming on feeling in the back of my throat. I also noticed Morgan making rattling noise when he breathes. I think we have caught a cold along with Sydney. Perfect timing since Adam will be gone Tuesday -Friday. I guess Mother's Morning Out will not be an option tomorrow unless Sydney miraculously gets better today. I am now wondering if we are going to have a bad day because I just noticed that the batteries on his swing are out of juice. I don't think that the others are in the charger. Yikes! It is the only thing that keeps him happy.

Running

I am officially crazy. I have agreed to run part of a marathon relay in the MS Blue Marathon. I only have to run part of the marathon, but for someone who just had a baby and hasn't been able to call herself a runner since The Cranberries were the thing to have playing in your car as you left the school parking lot. I should be able to sufficiently run 5 miles by January. I know it can be done. The problem is that with it being so far away it is hard to get focused and actually do the work it takes to run 5 miles, but do need that much time to get in shape. I found a couch to 10k program online and I think I am going to try to follow it. The only problem is how to measure the distances. The schedule changes each day and week. I think it will be good to run in the neighborhood since it is actually held in Fondren. Talk about cold though. I remember doing a 5k in February (years back) with a friend and we were freezing! Technically, I should be out today running/walking a mile. I am not though. It is going to be a challenge in more ways than one. It will be hard to find the time to run with two kids. I don't have a jogging stroller (yet) and even if I did, there are so many hills around here, I would promptly need medical assistance. If I wait until Adam gets home I will be taking up what little time I have at night with him and once the time changes it will be too dark for me to be out running by myself. My solution is to find someone to run with two evenings a week and to make Saturday and Sunday my other days (I need to run at least 4 or 5 days a week according to the plan). My brother expressed an interest in running during the week so maybe that would work out. I am so slow though, I could probably find a walking buddy and they could walk as I run.

Announcements

I am finally getting Stewart Morgan's announcements in the mail. We have had a long search for our printer power cord and still have not found it. Thankfully, Amanda came to my rescue and printed them for me. I have been working on assembling them this morning and I am going to have Adam read me addresses aloud as I address the envelopes tonight. Now, the only thing to do is figure out if I need to take them to the post office and have them hand meter them since they have bulky ribbon at the top. I am not sure if it will mess them up to send them through the machine.

Sydney is sick with a cold and I am sure that Morgan is getting it or going to get it. He is sneezing like has been this week. Her cold has been coming on since last weekend so I think it is safe to say that we are the ones spreading the cold at Mother's Morning Out.

Morgan's Homecoming

Here is a video of Sydney greeting Morgan as he came home from the hospital.

Pictures

I tried

I just spent most of Sydney's nap trying to find a USB cable to get the pictures off of Adam camera. According to him, they are all over the house. This describes most things in my house - all over the place. Which is one reason that I haven't posted pictures. I have no time of my own. It is just typical that the day that I decide to take technology into my own hands and stop waiting on Adam, I end up not being able to find what I need. So, just close your eyes and imagine the following. Adam, as a tiny baby, but with my fat cheeks. There. Just as good as a picture right?

Sleep is so last season.

So is fixing your hair, putting on make up, having a clean house, or even leaving the house. I think that today is my last attempt to try to "sleep when the baby sleeps". I can't stand those stupid books and magazines that tell you to do that. They must know that only mothers of one baby have time to read (and do) stuff like that. They leave out the suggestions for 2/+ parents because they figure that they aren't reading the magazine. Or maybe they leave us out because writing "too bad, so sad" would be just too mean.

Sydney is making too much noise on the monitor and Morgan of course wants to eat and be burped for an hour. Not much time for a nap with all that. I think that there is a purpose in the fact that babies don't do anything interesting during the first few months. We would all miss out on account of being complete zombies.

Doctor's Visit

Adam and I took Sydney and Morgan to their check ups today. For Sydney, it was her 18 month check up (a month late) and for Morgan, his two week. They had us arrive 30 minutes early to fill out 2 seconds of paperwork. So we were there for an hour and a half. If Adam hadn't been there I would have gone crazy. Sydney did not appreciate being weighed or measured for height. We forgot Morgan's paci so he was wanting that or to eat for half of the appointment. That's right! He is using a paci now to hold him off for feedings. I had suspected that he was using me a a pacifier and in turn overeating (which made him spit up). The doctor confirmed this and assured me that every three hours is an ok time between feedings for his age and size. He weighed in a 9 lbs 12 oz. Sydney was 20 lbs 8 oz. His due date passed this weekend and I wonder if he would have been this big if we had he not been born two weeks early. We rushed home for Adam to do a conference call and then I discovered that he had the plug adapter for the microwave in our room for his computer. Note to self: buy more of them. So poor tired Sydney had to eat all cold stuff for lunch and now she is in her bed - not napping. She unfortunately fell asleep for a short time on the ride home and that is just enough to make her feel like she is rested. I will make a mental note to not do double appointments next time.

Baby Doll

We bought Sydney this baby doll so she could hold and feed a baby. She is so cute with it. I think that she understands how tiring it can be to care for babies. See below.

Hey

Hey everyone. I know I promised pictures, but...I guess you can see that I haven't done it yet. Things are crazy around here. I am so tired. I remember being this way with Sydney now, but you forget that stuff. If we didn't, we wouldn't willing have more children. Sydney is hitting that hard stage. 18 months. Teething. Not to mention that we have moved and there is a new baby in the house and I am less active that she would like. The weather is sooo hot so we aren't going outside. Not that I would be up for it right now anyway. I am feeling better, but I keep crying for no reason. Ok, that isn't true. I have reasons. Most are irrational, but I never said that I was rational. I have left the house a few times. I had a panic attack before each outings. I worried that Sydney would be cranky or that Morgan would get hungry. Nursing is going ok. It is convenient, yet somehow inconvenient. I think it will get better. He is eating every 2 -3 hours right now and he isn't easy to burp so I am up for a while after each feeding. The process seems to be to feed him, hold him and try to burp him. Next, I lay him down and he starts squirming, so I pick him up and he burps. I lay him down, squirms, pick up, burps. This happens for a while. Finally, he will sleep. Then so will I. I have been watching a lot of movies during the night. I usually pick something that I have seen so I can watch part and just leave it. Conveniently, we are getting a free trial of the movie channel package with Direct TV so I have a good selection at least until I get him sleeping longer during the night.

Another emotional fear or "breakdown" that I am having is guilt/fear that the kids aren't getting the attention they need or want. I feel like Morgan just lays in his cradle all day (though he sleeps constantly anyway) and Sydney is just getting in trouble for things or playing on the floor while I sit on the couch. I am so tired that I just don't have the energy to be fun. I feel like I will never feel normal again. I have been assured that I will and that kids are very forgiving and will not remember a few hard weeks or months. I hope so.

Udpate

I promise I will post pictures tonight. Adam has them ready. He is just catching up with work right now. Last night was ok as far as sleep. He seems to want to eat all the time right now. This morning he start coughing up something funny. So I had to call the hospital nursery (you call them until your first ped's appointment) and they didn't have an answer. He has stopped now so I guess he is ok. I never experienced that with Sydney so I am left in the dark. I had hoped that we had pretty much everything figured out with already having a baby. I guess not! He is sleeping now and I think we will make it to the 3 hour mark for feeding. That is what I am shooting for right now. He may have other plans.

C-Section

I have to say that C-Sections are an easy way to have a baby. They just aren't the easiest way to do anything after that point! I had imagined that I would have the normal type delivery with the fun of anticipation of going into labor. I had all sorts of do's and don't's mentally and literally listed out for Adam and my mom to remember. When the talk of a c section started, most of that went by the way side and I started thinking and worrying about what surgery would be like. When would I see the baby? When would our family see the baby? Would I be wheeled around the hospital halls for all to see drugged up and wearing a funny hat. In the end, I decided that I couldn't control those things. They would happen how they would happen. My mom set me up with a nurse that we have known since I was a little girl (and she worked with) so I had someone that could answer all that. Yes, you can wear your contacts. Yes, you can wear socks. Sure, your family can come in the L/D room you are in after you leave and Adam can bring the baby to the room on the way to the nursery.

I made the decision that I didn't want to see anyone before the surgery. I was trying to have a good experience and avoid panicking. I knew that if someone came in to say hello or give a "you'll be fine" I would start crying and believe that I would never make it out to see my family again. I think I made the right decision. The morning was relaxing and I was excited to get started. I had to actually walk across the hall to the OR in my gown and funny hat and though I didn't see anyone I know, there were construction workers at the end of the hall on the outside that could see in through a window! Oh well!

I have to say that the recovery from the surgery has been what I expected. People said that it wouldn't be that bad and others said that it would be. I think it hits somewhere in between with a little more on the bad side during the night. Maneuvering in and out of bed is the hardest part. We are still recovering from the move so Adam is a little out of it during the night, but he willingly gets up to hand me the baby after a few nudges and repeating his name about 3 times.

Recovery

We are home. We actually came home on Wednesday. The doctor let us come home a day early. I was trying very hard to do everything I was supposed to do to have an optimum recovery and to get home early. We succeeded and I have to say that I was glad to leave that hospital bed. The only good purpose it served was to act as a crane for me as I lifted and lowered myself while sitting on the side of the bed. The nurses were great. They didn't come in an bother us during the night. Adam stayed with me the two night I was there. We did send the baby to the nursery at night and they would bring him to me when we appeared hungry. I say appeared because he really would sleep all the time and never eat. This was discouraging to me (to say the least) as I am trying to nurse him.

As an update to the coming home outfit, I am pleased to announce that it was found in the garage in a plastic bin on top of an extra refrigerator. The entire family was looking for it on Tuesday night and it was finally found by Adam's father who probably has the best few of tops of refrigerators of anybody being as tall as he is (and he was also the last to see the outfit during the move so he was able to sense where it was). So Morgan wore the outfit home and pooped in it on the way home so no pictures were taken. We did get video of Sydney greeting her brother. She leaned down to him while he was in his carrier and told him all sorts of things. Probably things about how the house is run and which are the best toys and what he can and can't touch of hers. She seemed to want to share with him right away so I think we are off to a good start. He was wide awake during that time and has pretty much slept constantly since then. Sydney has been super sweet and cute, but I am sorry to say that she seems more grown up since we left for the hospital.

I think I can say that we are having a good experience, but I do think that the move (only one week prior to the birth) has presented most of the challenges. The house is pretty together, but I am not used to where things are and there are a few things that still need to be unpacked and organized. Sydney doesn't seem to play in her room as much as she did in Clinton. I think it is a proximity thing. We have a wonderful den or family room (whatever you call it) and we spend most of our time in there. Sydney has been greeting visitors for the past few days and nights. It has been fun having people drop in. I think that living "in town" has brought more of that and we love it.

Adam and I are already exhausted, but we have had both of our moms helping us at home the past few days and it makes it easier. We have been waking Morgan to eat because he lost weight before leaving the hospital. We had our 2 day check up and found that he is back up in weight so we don't have to wake him at night anymore (just wait for him to wake and want to nurse). That is a relief, though you know he will demand it every two house now just for the fun of it.

More later.

Pictures

We will get more pictures on the blog as soon as we can. Here are a few.

This is Adam right before he came into the operating room. I think when this was being taken, I was saying "where is Adam" (they were beginning the surgery.) The nurse looked in the hall and said "hang on he is having his picture taken". Um, I can't breathe in here and I am panicking! And don't forget, there's a baby in here waiting to get his picture taken!!!!!
I don't know why Sydney looks so grown up in this picture, but doesn't she? She is such a baby in person. This was taken Monday night. She was very excited to see the baby. She still has no idea what is going on, but she has been having fun with family staying with her (and I am sure all the attention). She is holding the baby's hand. She likes holding hands.

Introducing...

Stewart Morgan White
August 6, 2007
9:20 AM
8 lbs 1 oz
20 3/4 inches

Anticipation

Sometimes I wonder if I compartmentalize my feelings before big events. I wonder if I miss out on savoring the moment by turning off my emotions so I am prepared for things to go wrong. Sometimes it is a survival mechanism. Like with Sydney, we had a 24 hour period to get through until we could breathe so we just zoned out. At least that is the best way to describe it. What can you do about things going wrong (even the small stuff, like being delayed or something like that)? I think I have learned that it is best to just go with the flow and take some chances. For instance, I wish I could go back and tell myself that Syd would be ours so the first time I held her I could have really felt what I wanted to feel. What would that have been like? To fully enjoy a moment. We had our moment, but just not that one.

I am going to try to go into this tomorrow without any fear and completely trusting in God and his will. How can I lose? At best, I will fully enjoy the moment and remember it the way I would want to. Millions get a spinal. Millions have c sections. I am not unique in that. Only how I view or handle my experience is unique. There. I am in control of something.

Ok, so I am sure I won't sleep tonight. I can't imagine just putting the computer away and turning over and going to sleep. I first must drink all of my water before midnight. I did just have a light snack. I think I will be ok as long as I can live with having one of Sydney's cheese sticks as the last food for the next 36 hours (I am guessing). Adam says he will not have any trouble sleeping. I will focus on pointless things like the fact that I can find my ipod. This is what ipod are made for and now I can't find it. He just looked in the car, but it isn't his ipod that is missing so I don't believe he REALLY looked. I want to go myself now. I will see if he will let me. Ok, we are both going. I will be back. Ok, found it. Not in the car, but on a book shelf. Now I can't find the his coming home outfit. I had it at my mom's with my hospital bag when we stayed there. I bet I left it, but she won't get out of bed and look. It is only 11 PM! I am sure it is in her room. She could at least cut on a light and look around from the bed. Am I being insensitive?

That settles it, I am going to get up early and repack the baby's bag. I don't feel that I have the cutest stuff going to the hospital. I just realized that I plan to nurse and I haven't read a thing on it. Not a thing. Oh well. You always forget something.

I guess I will just lay in bed, watch TV and try to feel him kicking for one of the last times (inside my stomach at least).

Until tomorrow....

Closer and closer

Have I mentioned how many babies are going to be born to people we know in the next month? There are quite a few 5 or so. One friend was going to be induced the day after my c section, but she went into labor this morning and had the baby on its due date. I think only about three percent of babies are born on their due date. Sydney was born on hers too. Today, I tried to stay off my feet and this afternoon Calen ran errands with me and Sydney. Sydney needed to get out and I needed help lifting heavy stuff at Walmart. That's right, it was my first Walmart trip since moving. You all know how much I just love Walmart. We chose the Madison Walmart today. I liked it, but I will have to learn the new set up. It didn't feel as crowded as some, which I appreciated. I had my last experience with the Countyline Walmart this past weekend.

We have been busy trying to get things marked off our list. It feels like every time we work in a room we basically just end up junking up another room. The kitchen I can no longer ignore. It is the biggest problem. There are boxes and piles of trash and the floor is sticky from something. Every time I turn around there is the dog and Sydney and then I keep bumping into stuff sticking out from the counters. Ahhh! It is driving me crazy. You would think that I would know by now that my stomach is sticking out and I can't squeeze through the same spaces I could before. Last night at dinner I kept assalting my poor brother every time I got out of my chair to hit the sushi buffet. I just need to be locked up for the next 3 days.

We have a date!

Monday, August 6th will be the day! I am sure most people know this by now, but I had to post it. I will be having a c-section that morning. Hopefully on time, but you know how that goes. I am trying to come up with a nice meal to have on Sunday night that will keep me full through Monday morning. I am a breakfast eater so it will be hard to not wake up to something. Even water! I think that is crazy. My mouth is always so dry in the morning, so I am hoping that everything will be on time so I can have something drink asap or that I won't care that I haven't had anything after it is over.

What is really funny about desperation is that you will agree to or except just about anything. A month ago I had all kinds of questions about the c section and what would happen and how it would go. Can I have visitors in the recovery room? What kind of pain medicine will I get? Will I know what I am being given before it is given? Will I care? Yesterday, I was in so much pain (I am guessing from the pressure of a big baby and me standing too much during the move) that I had to hold back tears before the doctor came in because I was afraid that she was going to say that she wanted to wait another week. I also know that all pregnant women have some kind of pain(s) so I felt stupid complaining or acting like I have the worse ever. To my surprise they did another ultrasound to check the baby's "practice breathing" and other stuff. They did give us a weight estimate (though not as accurate at the end we have a good track record of weights so it is pretty trustworthy). 8.8 No, that isn't a score. It is the weight at 37 weeks and 3 days. So, I told the doctor of my issues and after leaving the room a minute while the nurse rechecked my blod pressure, she returned with a c section date. Just what I wanted. A decision. A date. Something to tell me when this will end and whole new phase of pain and tiredness will begin. I am just looking for something new I guess. Of course, she gently said that a c section was what she felt was the way to go and I readily agreed and didn't bother with any of my questions. What does it matter anyway? I didn't have to beg that it be earlier. She picked a day that gave me time to get the house in order and run errands (or have someone do them). I didn't cry (though I think I was teary) in front of her. I felt relief knowing when. She already had a time worked out. No food after midnight and we don't have to be there until 7 AM. She wants me to stay off my feet until then to control the pain I am having. I am really trying.

We are really excited, but there is tons to do. Last night, a group of friends and family (well, I should just say family, because that is what they are when they are willing to root through your junk and make sense of it...among other things). We now have den unpacked and put away and the pantry items are within reach. This makes things a lot easier. I have a list of things to do today though I don't know how that falls in with the stay off your feet plan. I am going to go get a microwave for sure and the rest (drop off modem to comcast, return babies r us stuff, have extra keys made, buy a crib mattress and find cradle sheets, stop by Baptist to check out the hospital rooms in case I get a choice of the double room which is good for closing off visitors while you are doing baby and hospital stuff or the executive room which has a nicer look and feel to it). I am sure the list goes on but that is the list for today.

We are here

Well, we are moved into our new house. Things are crazy, of course. Boxes everywhere, I can't find my laundry detergent or actually get to my laundry room. We definitely need to do something about that. I have a doctor's appointment today. Actually, I should leave for it in about 10 minutes. It is nice to be close to everything now, though I haven't felt like exploring. It is blazing hot to me inside and outside the house and I haven't been able to do anything due to the constant pain I am in. I really feel like I will never be the same. It is like I will never feel good again. I have no idea what the doctor will say today. I can't say that my house is ready for me to have the baby this week though that does sound good to me. We don't have a microwave (and you can't survive without one, unless you don't mind being hot as the oven constantly heats). I have been avoiding the kitchen like an old friend you see in the mall, but you can't remember their name. I called about having the house sprayed for bugs and they didn't recommend spraying inside in you have children under 3 months old. they are going to spray the outside and they say that it will help. I was worried that it might force them inside. I don't think I can take seeing bugs along with boxes and the dirt we have produced (it seems to have traveled across town with us).

Adam and I are pretty tired. I think everyone we know is tired. It was really hard to see everyone working so hard on the move for us and I couldn't do even half of what they were doing. On top of the manual labor, they had to put up with me not being able to answer basic questions or make simple decisions. I will think of a way to thank them someday soon.

All is well...

I am totally calm and cool. We have worked like tomorrow is the move day, but it isn't! Finally, for once in my life we are somewhat ahead of schedule. I am delirious, but those who know me know that I am fun when delirious. There is a chocolate chip floating in my diet peach tea and I don't care. I am actually looking forward to drinking down the tea enough to corner it for a last taste of the random cookie I found in the mostly empty pantry. I can't say how much I owe my friend, Shelley, for the help she has given and the help she keeps offering in the future. I am sure I will have a few more IOUs by the end of this weekend. I have finally given in to feeling bad for excepting help so I pretty much give in at the slightest pressure. Shelley just started packing all the random stuff that was laying around and we gathered toys and took pictures off the walls and wrapped them in blankets. You know you have a true friend when they are cleaning out under your bed where all the dog hair hides. At 9 pm we were in the garage and she became the voice of encouragement when Adam started pointing to attic things that he felt could be thrown away. I kept thinking garage sale (let's make money!!) and she was saying it isn't worth it just throw it out. I think she had more perspective because she had just packed about 20 miscellaneous boxes full of stuff that we don't really need. We are getting a little excited about moving to the new house though. Now that this house is somewhat under control we can start thinking some about it. I think some of the excitement was squashed due to dealing with the seller/realtor, but that is in the past now and hopefully tomorrow won't bring any problems. Well, I am going to leave this house for now and go down to my mom's where she and Sydney are hopefully sleeping soundly. It is nearly 11 and I have done more manual labor than any pregnant person should (though I am not lifting heavy things per the doctor's request, but she said I could do moving stuff) so I am deserving of bed and that is where I am headed!

Wednesday Frustrations

I can't handle all this stress! We are still working on closing stuff for the house we are buying (the people are impossible). I am supposed to be packing, but my friend had car trouble so she is delayed. That is just as well because we have been busy funding the college tuition of the electrician's unborn children, dealing with a Direct TV order for Saturday that appears to have been canceled (the important stuff, you know), discussing options for repairs at the new home, worrying about the closing working out for Friday because of sellers dragging their &^$%#* (you pick the word), a garage door still upset by the sun at odd hours (we can fix that, but our list is long), and so much more.

Thankfully, Adam is the calm one (though this move is bringing out his Jessica side somewhat) and he reminded me that there are lots of things about the situation for which we can be thankful. At least we are able to afford the repairs and we have the help we need to get things done. We know we have a healthy baby and a house to move to (well, we hope we have a house). Well, Sydney and I are off to run errands now.

Can we talk?

Listen, its not you. It's me. I just need more. I feel like I give and give and receive nothing. Ok, so maybe it IS you. Readers, seriously you have to give me something. Who are you? I realize that I may not have posts that are comment friendly so I won't blame you for the past. I am going to work on some interactive topics in hopes that you will respond. Let's all get something from this experience. I will start.

What books are on your nightstand and why should they be on mine?

No News

Unfortunately, there is no news on when the baby will be here. My doctor wants me to think over some things and then we will talk again next week. They could tell from the ultrasound that the baby has hair. Imagine that. Where would he get a full head of hair? They can tell you all sorts of things except what you really want to know! I was hoping to come away with more information, but I am trying not to be disappointed that I didn't.

PBK

I received the newest Pottery Barn Kids catalog today. They must know that I am looking for ideas, but they don't get that I need Target to make more PBK knock offs. I entered the PBK $10,000 gift card sweepstakes. I could buy at least a couple of things with that! Unfortunately, they aren't selling the toddler quilt that we liked, but it wasn't anything special. They seem to change things a lot. It did get me thinking that I probably shouldn't worry too much with a toddler quilt. I have a blue and green one. I am going to have a twin bed in his room so I think I may get a twin quilt. That would make more of an impact anyway and before long he can use it. I love the Cars quilt in the new catalog. It made me sad to think that if I don't hang Sydney's curtain and crib dust ruffle in his room then it may never be used again! If I can find the fabric I might make another curtain for her room so she can still use them. She has two windows. I am getting really excited about boy stuff. Thankfully, Sydney seems to be very girly (with purses and shoes and baby dolls) so I can have the best of both worlds.

New Movies

My Mom offered to buy Sydney one of the Little Einstein movies and she came by with three movies. One was Elmo's Potty Time, which she watched without moving a muscle until I brought out her potty and let her sit on it while she watched, another was a Baby Einstein DVD that talks about your eyes, ears, hands, etc., and lastly the promised Little Einstein movie. This was fun for Sydney because she only watches one show in the morning. I have let her watch two lately because I move slower getting breakfast ready for everyone. My mom's thinking was that I will need the distractions for her if I am going to survive the next few weeks. The Disney Channel never seems to have cartoons on in the afternoon so this will be great. She is in a trance when she watches them. She was already responding to the Baby Einstein by pointing to her nose, ears and mouth when they talked about them. Sydney also received her first pair of tacky play shoes. She looks so funny clopping around in them. They are ultra tacky and I promise a picture as soon as possible.

Packing is coming along. I am slowing down and I don't mean just for the day. We are taking a break now. We actually just cleaned out my car and trunk. That is a great feeling. Pretty soon the entire back seat will be devoted to car seats. A little earlier I thought I just might panic at the thought of getting everything done. I feel so bad that it all falls on Adam's shoulders. Moving in is exciting, but moving out is not. We have made a few decisions about the move that will hopefully take some extra pressure off, such as lowering our expectations of new house preparations, Adam taking an extra day off from work, and having the Pod delivered after the move, even though Adam will be the only one unloading it. He actually loaded it by himself so it shouldn't be a problem. One big decision was to go ahead and start sleeping at my mom's house in Clinton on Wednesday night. This will allow us to break down beds, pack bedding, gather Sydney's toys (since my mom has plenty for her), clear showers, dishes and stop the laundry madness at our house and bug my mom with it for a few days. We can start organizing the boxes in an efficient manner instead of worrying about safety for Sydney and space to walk. Doing this will give us Wednesday night, Thursday and night to work in the house without worrying about waking the baby.

Packing

Yesterday we packed and worked on the house all day. After supper, we packed more. We worked on our bedroom. That was hard work. It is hard to know what to do with clothes. Bag or boxes? We are trying to figure out how to organize the move. I am going to call out Good Will to pick up an extra refrigerator next week and I plan to get the ladies from Attic Treasures (a junk store in Clinton) to come look at three beds and two dressers. If I can get those out of the way then we will have less to deal with during the move. We will only be taking them to store them in our new garage so they really must go.

It has been hard having to depend on other people to do things that under normal circumstances I would be able to handle on my own. There are just some things that other people can't do. We are now eating out for most meals. We did make a frozen pizza and I do have food for tonight here. It actually helps to have to pick up food. I don't have much time to cook when there is so much packing to do. We finally made a decision about our phone, cable, and internet. We are going to use ATT for all but the cable and we were conveniently able to order Direct TV through them for a discount. I think it saves a little money. We had considered using just cell phones, but they I would have to up my plan and I am not sure if there would be any savings. I like having several phones throughout the house because I am not fast enough to get to the cell unless it is right there with me. Apparently, pregnant people don't deserve pockets (they must add more bulk) so very few of my clothes offer them. I have officially worn out my favorite pair of pants. They have a hole in them. I hate it because I was planning to wear them for a little while after the baby since they have a normal waist. It is probably for the best anyway.

I can't believe how fast time has passed. Just two days until we most likely get a date for the baby. I am anxious to see the u/s. My mom is convinced I am going to go into labor early (she was thinking this while she was covered in oil based paint yesterday as she worked on her new house). I hope it isn't this week! I can't imagine anyone else being able to make sense of this house and the packing. We would have to delay our move if that happened.

Morning Cereal

Sydney has expressed interest in my cereal so I have been giving her some of it in the mornings. Frosted Mini-wheats. I soak them in a little milk and then put them on her tray. I just noticed what she is doing with them. She is picking them up one by one, licking the frosting and putting them in a pile on the other side of her tray. Ok, so we need to try something else. This reminds me of my brother only eating everything but the outer edges of pop tarts and brownies when we were younger (and I mean high school). I don't get it. Those are the best parts to me!

What Happens When You Pack the Bathroom

I am trying to get some things done, but once Adam discovered the ponytail hair piece (that must have been purchased for some sort of costume party) in our bathroom...well, you see the result. It is a good thing we are having a boy. This would be scary! This may top the 70's snow suit he insisted on trying on when we were packing the guest room closet.

Canvas

The other night, while Adam was on a trip, I decided to paint a canvas for the baby's door at home. It was the only thing I could think to do that wouldn't require much energy after a day of packing. I copied some thank you notes that I bought for him so this was not all my idea. I did blue on blue stripes, but you can't tell from the picture (only because I did not have white paint). The stripes are supposed to be the way they are (how convenient, because I couldn't do it any other way). The colors are more vibrant in person. The picture sort of washes them out. I still can't decide what to do for Sydney's door. I am thinking something ballet themed and maybe using some tulle on the canvas. Any suggestions?

How many days?

It is starting to hit me that I have a lot to do and not much time to do it. We are very excited about the baby and the move to a new house. I wish that my body would keep up with my mental excitement. If I weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have time to even type this because I would be busy doing all the stuff I need to do. I have to rest so I don't force myself into labor and subsequently surgery before we move. Once this house is empty I will be fine with whatever happens. Sydney is being counter helpful today. She has just unfold the clothes that I folded while I wasn't looking. I should have suspected it when she kept bringing me single pieces of clothing. Tomorrow is kitchen packing day. I may have a friend helping so it could go faster than expected. I am guessing it will take a while. I remember staying in my mom's kitchen all day packing one time. She did have more than me so hopefully it will be done in a couple of hours. I have decided to leave part of a set of dishes and some glasses so we don't have to buy paper stuff. We will be eating out or eating frozen lasagna type stuff after tomorrow. It is just as well, because I don't have time to cook anymore!

I just had a garage door company come look at our garage door problem. He doesn't carry parts for our brand and apparently it can be fixed by just ordering a new part and installing it. It is a simple thing. He told me where to get the part online. So I have ordered the part now and I am hoping it will get here next week. This is interesting. If your sender and receiver beams are too close to the door and can be touched by the sun they will get burned out (or one might) and then they don't work. All we have to do it replace them (they come in a set) and he suggested putting them further back from the door towards the wall to prevent further burnouts. All this for free (except for the part). Now, in my opinion, that is better than a big service bill.

Sydney "Cougar" White

Yesterday, Sydney and I were on the way home from the grocery store and I had the radio going. I didn't really notice what was on, but when I heard a noise in the back I took note. Sydney was clapping and trying her best to dance, while confined to a car seat, to Wild Night by John Mellancamp. She had the biggest smile on her face and it was too cute. Last night, I got some video of Sydney dancing while Adam played the guitar. Once she saw the camera, she seemed more interested in helping him play. Adam will make the cords while she strums. I am glad Adam can teach her something musical. All I play is the kazoo.

Fall Catalogs

I am so in love with this dress for Sydney! I just get so excited when the fall catalogs come out. I get so many ideas from them and never do them! Ok, this time I must. Surely I will have the time!? Right? Ok, you may be laughing, but I am thinking that I will have two mornings a week while Sydney is at Mother's Morning Out and I can use one for the grocery and errands and one for sewing! Now to find this fabric (they also have this dress in brown. I like that one too.)

What is the theme?

I find myself torn between posting fun stuff or the reality of life, which can be fun. Maybe people come here to see cute pictures and hear funny stories. I am assuming that they want to hear about us and that is why they come. Maybe some identify with being parents or pregnant or whatever is going on in our life and they get something from hearing that they aren't the only ones with challenges.

Tonight, I took Sydney to Chic-fil-a to play with friends (of all ages) that are in town this week. She was so excited to be with other kids that she barely ate! She wasn't interested in playing with them really. Just along side them, which is typical for this age, I think. One thing that was glaringly obvious to me was that she has a problem with small fits when she doesn't get her way and she doesn't always come to me when I call her name. Why is it so embarrassing and a big deal when it is in front of other people, but at home it doesn't seem "so bad". I guess it goes back to being less convicted of our sin when it is hidden.

I am aware that the other kids are older than her (well some were, some not) and that most kids hit a stage where this becomes a problem (some never grow out of it-ever. And then we end up working with them!) I am not so worried about her, it is just me that I worried about. I worry that I might be in denial a little bit or becoming desensitized or just tired and distracted (but no excuse!) and I am not addressing it the way that should. Maybe I find ways to excuse the behavior. Maybe I am one of those parents along with my child that people really don't like to be around because of how I respond to her in situations. It is hard because in the middle of the store is not the place to try to tackle a bigger issue. You can correct, but I think at home is the place where the real training happens. The training at home is what will get the desired result after the correction in public. It is hard to know if your expectations are too high or if you are possibly setting them up for failure or "fits". I guess if you don't teach them to obey at home, then you are setting them up for bad behavior. Adam and I both wonder sometimes if she "gets it". The other day I explained it to my friend that Syd wasn't getting in trouble for touching things (we were measuring the new house and she kept picking up our somewhat unsafe tools), but rather the fussing the ensued after she was told not to touch the item. So was she being set up by being around interesting things that she shouldn't touch or should she be expected to obey when asked. Some would say the former and though I can at times almost convince myself of that, I really believe the latter. Now, here is where expectations come into play. Is she old enough to understand what I want her to do? Yes. Is she capable of not fussing about it? Yes. At times she just stops and moves on obediently. Another time she will cry and possible act out against a toy or other unsuspecting object. Am I doing this right? I guess there is always tomorrow. I just can't stop, I have to do better. Being a parent is like being on a diet. Too many "I'll start again on Monday" promises don't produce the best results.

Oh, I forgot to update on our word of the week attempt. Sydney learned to say Shoe and Socks last week. We are working on Please this week. I think it won't be long before our communication barriers will be a thing of the past.

Motorcycle

Sydney and I just got out to drop off Good Will stuff and we stopped to get Sonic drinks for half price during happy hour. On the way home we saw a line of motorcycles and a funny thought occurred to me. Do pregnant women drive motorcycles? How weird would that be (and very unsafe) to have a huge stomach and be driving down the interstate on a motorcycle.

Packing, packing, and more packing

I have decided to tackle most of the packing of inside things myself. This is so Adam will be able to do the fixit stuff and get the garage move ready without worrying about the inside. Adam is in Florida right now for a work thing and Sydney and I have been packing all morning. I have set a goal of really making a dent in the house so Adam is surprised when he gets back. We have had a good time and she has been a big help with carrying things to the boxes. Since I can't move them after they are filled I have to put them where they can stay and actually bring the stuff to them. Good exercise! Sydney is eating her snack right now and I discovered something interesting. If I present the food she has tired of in a different way she will eat it! I cut her banana into sticks and she went for it! She is talking up a storm in her high chair right now. What is she saying? It sounds very important. Well back to packing (and playing) we go!

Family get together

Tonight Adam, Sydney and I had supper with family in celebration of a great uncle's 75th birthday. I don't see my cousins often and I wasn't jazzed about being huge and pregnant when I did get to see them. I had to endure a couple of hours of jokes and comments about me possibly having the baby right then, or on the way home, or during the family picture, or tomorrow, or after dessert... You can always depend on family!

Hahaha. Grin. Yeah, he is a big baby. August 18th. Oh, his name will be Stewart... (the family name. There were at least 4 Stewarts, by first name, there tonight). Cheers from a table. No, again, he will not be born tonight. Yes, August 18th. No, 18th, of August yeah, not July 18th. Maybe so, but I am sure I will make it.

So later, my mom and I went to Walmart to get some things for me to wear in the hospital after the baby is born and at home for the first few recovery weeks. Stuff like lounge pants and t shirts that look somewhat cute for people to see, but can still can function as sleepwear. Don't worry. I won't stay in that stuff long if I can help it. I plan to have them drop me off at a Weight Watchers meeting on the way home from the hospital. Talk about a long year. I haven't had anything to wear for most of the spring and summer and will not go through the winter the same. So, the Walmart trip turned out longer than expected because my mom needed "a few groceries" and then for some reason she expected to find a good book to read on the book aisle. No luck there. Surprise, surprise. By the end of the trip I was shuffling like most pregnant people you see (and I never felt sorry for before now) with a box of pop tarts under my arm. As we were exiting the door the elderly reciept checking lady said to my mom, " is she ok? She isn't going to have the baby in the store is she?" Surely she is a long lost relative.

Dress Up

Sydney and Adam were playing dress up and he fashioned some gloves out of baby brother's helicopter socks. She loved them and I think she may need some white gloves for Easter next year.

Crib

We have been holding off buying another baby bed until we knew what we wanted. Sydney is just too small for even a toddler bed so we plan to try to switch her at Christmas. My friend, Shelley, called me the other day from Big Lots and said that they had a Jenny Lind crib (Evenflo brand) there for $80. This one was already assembled. I checked our Big Lots last night and they had them in the boxes for $80. I bought one that matches Sydney's. I would have loved a white one for her room but I guess that most of her furniture will remain stained wood until we can paint them some time this fall. It may be Christmas by the time we finish all that. I am very excited that the crib is in the box and we can just move it and then assemble it when the time comes. I still need to get a mattress. I might upgrade from the mattress that is in Sydney's crib now in case we do a toddler bed for a few years. She might like a "better" mattress though I read that it doesn't really matter. Whatever helps you sleep at night I guess!

I have been piddling around today. We are trying to clean the house so we feel like we can actually start packing more boxes. It is hard to decide when you aren't going to use something for the next few weeks. I am still doing some cooking so I am waiting on the kitchen. I don't need my clothes (other than maternity and they would fit in a handbag) so I may stick them in a big box along with my winter boots and shoes. We have packed our movies and we have been watching the ones that didn't make it into the box. The Incredibles, Little Mermaid, Father of the Bride 2, and a season of Arrested Development.

Taking care of business

I have been working all morning on "errands". Thankfully, most were able to be completed by phone. We did have to be in Byram by 8 this morning to sign something. I have also tackled a few other things. I wrote thank you notes, rented a Uhaul truck and all the extras you need like moving pads and a dolly for the piano, scheduled Bailey appointments at the groomers to be washed and nails cut and smoothed (to protect our new wood floors), an appointment at the vet for her annual vaccines and heart worm stuff. I figured that now is the time to get that stuff done since we are still in Clinton. I really like our vet so I think we will still bring her here, but I wouldn't mind finding a different groomer since we might go there more often. I may get Adam to start bathing Bailey during the spring, summer, and fall. That will save a few buckeroos that can be allotted to plants or home furnishings. One thing I wish I could do myself is recover furniture. Talk about costing an arm and a leg. I can do simple things like cover dining chair seats or maybe cover a headboard with fabric using a staple gun or something. A wingback chair is another story.

Yesterday, we had the home inspection done on the new house. Talk about hot. I was only planning to be there long enough to take note of storage possibilities and measure some rooms and windows (for blinds). My friend Shelley helped me (ok, she did all of it) and she drew out a floor plan for us to use to play with arranging furniture. I never thought about window blind to house scale, but she was telling me that her dad (who is an architect) says that the 2 inch wood or faux wood blinds really aren't the best size for most houses. They are really more appropriate to a larger home with really tall ceilings. Shelley and I like the 2 inch and think they look nice, but if I can find a 1 1/2 inch blind (which I think is what he recommended) then I will see how they look. Her mom found the faux wood 1.5 inch blinds at Walmart (they are upping the merchandise to compete with Target I think) and they come in all kinds of sizes which is good because not all our windows are the same in each room. One window is an inch smaller in width in the Master bedroom. That seemed weird to me, but apparently some window are custom made to fit a space and I guess in building a home things are a little off sometimes. I have the blinds on my Walmart list and I am going to see what sizes I can find to fit our windows. We need 7 because we are only going to put them in the bedrooms.

Calm down

I know that I am way over thinking everything. I think with the house(s) and Adam traveling next week and not knowing if I will have a c section over the past few weeks has made me feel a little out of control. I think I am obsessing over details as a way to gain some control of the situation. It never seems to work so I a have decided to just go with the flow. If I start itching because of a drug then so be it. And if I am drowsy, I will sleep. I just can't worry about things anymore. I have too many other things to do. Like pack and nap and eat. I feel like I just worry and talk and ask questions and answer questions and worry some more. I just want to be completely silent for a while. Maybe take some Benadryl and wake up in a few days or something. Ok, that is just the sinus headache talking.

Sleepy Time

I wish I were asleep right now. 5 AM. I have been trying for a while. Bailey sighs and slaps her tail on the floor as I ask for the millionth time why I can't just doze off. The alarm is set for an hour from now so I can actually get a shower before Sydney wakes. Last night, we signed off on a counter for the new house we are buying. Looks like we got it so now I can find something else to panic about. Not everything went as I had hoped, but we got the house and that is the most important thing. We will be moving in 2 1/2 weeks.

Last night was also our last childbirth class. There is one more next week, but Adam will be gone so I don't plan to go. We can take a tour sometime this week and the other stuff they cover can be figured out as I go along (post partum care is the topic). Last night they covered anesthesia and c sections. Since I am pretty sure that is what I will be having, I was glad to hear about it. What I didn't expect was to feel confused about what I want for pain medication and whether to have a private transition for the baby in my room instead of the nursery. It has been a goal/concern of mine to, as much as possible, avoid being nauseated or drowsy due to drugs or pain medication. I would like to remember the experience as much as possible and though it may not be as ideal as some deliveries, it will still be my experience so I might as well get the most out of it as possible. I don't know a lot about this stuff, but from what I can tell, a drug called duramorph is usually given/offered to control pain for 24 hours after the surgery. It is actually given with the spinal block for the surgery. One of the side effects is crazy itching all over. Then you might get Benadryl and that will make you sleepy. If you feel nauseated, they might give you something for that and that can make you sleepy. Apparently, they don't give phenergan anymore, they have a different drug of choice that doesn't make you drowsy. That sounds great because I typically feel sick with anesthesia. So do I want the Duramorph? The anesthesiologist last night made it sounds great. "Some" people experience itching, but most say it isn't that bad...that is what he said. After the class our teacher said that most people are miserable and that most the L/D nurses say they wouldn't get it. That to me says something. I have yet to find someone that hasn't had it with a c section. I think most people don't know that they are getting it or at least that there is a choice not to. I need to make a decision about it though.

As for the private transition, in some ways that seems great. Not having so have the baby away for hours after the birth while everyone else abandons you in the room so they can go stare and take pictures and report back to you how cute he is and what he is doing. Doesn't seem fair does it? Not to mention that the few hours after the birth I will still have the effects of the block so I might be feeling just fine and then when that wears off they will bring him to me and I will be in pain. Pain or itching? I don't know. With him in the room during transition you have a nurse right there to help you feed him and you can even hold him and do skin to skin contact as an alternative to the warmer for some of the time. This costs extra and would take some scheduling so I do need to make a decision. I just don't know how I will feel. I could just go with the flow and be drugged up with all kinds of things to help with pain and itching and just see him in a couple of hours. Any opinions?

I thought this was a neat quote

"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."

- Pablo Picasso

This is a long post, because typing is the only thing I have the energy to do!

40 days? I can't do 40 days. I guess it could be more than 40 really. The ticker taunts. It did this with Sydney. She had the courtesy to show up on her due date though. Is it bad to actually want a c-section so I can have the baby a week or so early? He is huge and I know it. I saw the way that Adam's eyes got big when he saw my stomach the other day. Over the past week it has just grown sooo much. I hadn't noticed really, but we both saw it and though he didn't say anything at first, his look confirmed what I saw. I am not saying that we are going for a world record or anything. I am just earning some sympathy from Adam and the right to complain a little at least on the blog. Because no one has to read this unless they want to read it. I won't complain in person I promise! Still, I am glad to know that the baby is healthy and enjoying all the food he is making me eat these past two weeks. We can't wait until he is here. That is all we talk about (that and Sydney)

I feel so overwhelmed. I will give you a bit of advice. Don't move (your house) when pregnant. If you must, make sure that it is somewhere in the winter (not near Christmas though) and that you are only about 5 months along. I would say that I am a walking zombie, but I can barely walk. So I am just a zombie. I just scoot along trying not to injure any major body parts. I get the courage to tackle a task and towards the middle I completely give out. In Walmart I was strolling along getting what I needed and then out of nowhere I was slowly pushing the basket with thoughts about actually getting in it to take a nap. People give you this understanding nod or look, like they too have been there. It makes you feel a little better, but when it is time to put the groceries in the car you are wondering if they can last for a few weeks so you don't have to do it all again.

The house is somehow always a mess (though we are getting along in the packing, so that may be why) and Sydney is eating part of a waffle off the floor. At least it is a waffle from this morning. That isn't so bad. I am pretty hungry. I wonder if she will share it with me. I haven't been sleeping during parts of the night so I have been staying up late hoping that it will help. I don't wake up for long periods of time now, but I am still just as tired. Time for a new tactic. We could leave everything here when we move and buy all new stuff. Sounds like a plan.

As an update on the house we are TRYING to buy, we still don't know if it is ours. The Realtor that owns it (she actually owns the house, but doesn't live there) isn't exactly speedy in getting on the paperwork. When we gets things back, such as counter offers, they are dated for a day or two before we get them. Its like she does the work, but just doesn't get it back. If you are ever looking for a Realtor, call me first and I will tell you who she is. You would not want to work with her. I talked with our Realtor last night and she said that she was calling her this morning and seeing what was up. We are daring to hope that she is accepting our counter offer. She asked for it in writing when she was told what it was. In dealing with her we can assume that if she wasn't interested then she would have said that she would be coming back with the same counter as before-the asking price for the house. Who ever heard of sticking to a price on a house that has been for sale for so long? We will pay that if we have to, but she sure is holding up the process. It is driving us crazy. We will be potentially moving in about 2 1/2 weeks and we have no idea where. We will still need to get a home inspection on that house and organize the bank stuff, closing, utilities, etc.

I have a goal this week. I am going to teach Sydney to say "shoe". She still isn't saying much (that we can understand), but she does understand us and will do things we ask her to do. We are trying it be able to tell the doctor that she has added some words by the time of her appointment scheduled for the end of April (conveniently the day before our closing...let's just pack it all in!). Well, I am off to take advantage of Sydney's morning nap!

Walmart: Friend or Foe?

Walmart. The ultimate experience. Even when not pregnant, I have to muster up the strength to go. If it is hot, forget having a good time. When I see myself complaining about it I just remind myself to be thankful that I can pay for all the stuff I bought. That usually cures it. The one thing I am annoyed about lately is the lack of craft supplies. Thankfully, we will be near Michael's or Hobby Lobby soon enough. I couldn't even find ribbon for hair bows at Walmart this weekend. I hear that some Walmart stores still have their fabric section. Hopefully, either the Madison or the Lakeland Walmart will oblige my need for cheap fabric and buttons. Not that I am doing any sewing these days.

We ran into a former co-worker of Adam's this weekend. She is working at St. Andrews preschool now. She was telling us about the stuff that they learn there. It makes you want to send them. Until you look at the tuition prices online. Adam said his wallet hurt just hearing about them. Who wants to pay that much to be away from their babies half a day anyway? Sydney is so funny. I know that I have mentioned how sensitive she is before. If you laugh at something suddenly, she cries if she doesn't get it. The other night we were discussion houses and private school and mapping the next few years out. Sydney has been very fussy lately (we think due to teething) and she was going on and on about everything. Adam jokingly said, "you are expensive and I don't want to hear anymore fussing out of you." She stopped fussing just looked at him. We started laughing because it was so funny and then she started crying. We both started saying " You are worth it. Every penny!" I think it made her feel better. Adam said something else funny earlier when I told him how much some of the schools cost. He looked at Sydney and said " I am not sure if we can spend this kind of money on you if you are putting your shoe on the wrong foot." She thought that was funny. She loves shoes and was putting one on the wrong foot. Adam bought her a denim jacket this weekend. It is so cute. I can't wait for her to wear it.

Baby Clothes

Today I am working on putting aside (or packing I guess) my bag and the baby's bag for the hospital. I guess it could seem a little early, but I need to get this stuff where we can find it since we are packing the house. I would hate to be rummaging through a box to find something before going to the hospital and just buying it again defeats my master plan of using up everything in the house - food, cleaning supplies, toiletries. I hate moving all that stuff, especially duplicates. I am so upset with myself. I was at Target last weekend and there was the cutest outfit for the baby that would have been perfect for the weather - now and fall. I didn't buy it. I haven't bought any clothes for him. I know it is gone now, because there were only a few left. Now all I can think about is how I need/want something just like that for him. How annoying. I just haven't seem many things that I like (that are a reasonable price). I haven't checked Stein Mart yet. They usually have some outfits that are nice. I am trying to avoid things like sports outfits and uncomfortable safari outfits with fishing vests and matching shoes. They look so uncomfortable. Adam's request is that we buy a few things that aren't baby blue. I do have clothes for him, as I said in a previous post. The problem is that I don't think that they are weather appropriate or size appropriate for him. All the 3-6 month stuff is long sleeves and though he will be able to wear those in the winter they will be too hot for right now. What to do!?

More packing

I packed for several hours yesterday, then my mom came over and she packed one of my china cabinets for me. She ended up staying that evening so Adam and I could actually leave the house. We have been house bound all week! We went to see License to Wed. It was pretty funny and cute. It is 3:30 AM now and I am wishing I was asleep! I was trying cut on the ceiling fan and I hit the wrong switch and it cut off my alarm clock. So I had to reset it and then I discovered that I was hungry. So now I am awake.

Before I fell asleep earlier I read a little from one of my baby books. I am rereading 12 hours by 12 weeks and The No Cry Sleep Solution. I also borrowed The Baby Whisperer and I am reading some of that. They are starting to remind me of the the sleepless nights and the evenings of having to hold a baby constantly due to colic (of whatever that was for a a month or so). I guess I had blocked those things out. Adam can't remember some of it. I think it is a defense mechanism set up to ensure that you have more kids. If you remember exactly how it felt you might be afraid to have more. Thankfully, Sydney sleeps through the night (and I mean 12 hours and good naps) and she was able to do so by at least 6 months (but I am not really sure about that, it may have been later). I know that all babies are different, but I think we will be prepared this time and not make some of the same mistakes.

As much as I would love the baby to sleep in the same room as us for convenience sake (And he will for a week or so I think). I remember what a difference it made when we moved Sydney to her room. It turns out that she was keeping us up and we were keeping her up. In the end, the book I really liked was the 12 Hours by 12 Weeks book. It helps you get them to sleep through stages. I wish I had read it earlier, but she was over 3 months old when I did so it wasn't exactly by 12 weeks that we were really into the program. I liked some of the tips in the No Cry Sleep Solution. One was not always holding the baby while she was sleeping. You put them down flat if they are getting drowsy. A lot of people didn't understand that one. I love to hold a sleeping baby too, but those extra arms are NOT available a night after a few weeks and you are left with a baby that won't go to sleep on their own. We did take some time every now and then to enjoy holding a sleeping baby though. Now, I remember those times fondly, instead of with regret! I guess in the end there is no perfect way to do it and you just have to do what you have to do to survive. And remain sane.

Friday

Last night I just couldn't sleep and then this morning I went back to bed after Adam was awake and I was so tired I couldn't sleep. I felt like I had been drugged! This must be what my Babycenter weekly email mentioned. It said that I might be tired like the beginning of the pregnancy. We didn't pack anything yesterday, but we do have a new supply of smaller boxes now so I might be able to tackle some today or tomorrow. I know I need to get a move on it.

We are in the middle of countering back and forth with the house we want to buy. The person that owns it is a little "different" and happens to be the Realtor. She is taking her time getting back with us on things and when she does she doesn't even send the right paperwork. Thankfully our Realtor knows what she is doing so we don't have to worry about something being missed. This house has been for sale for over a year now and they still don't seem to want to budge on the price. I can understand that, but it is rarely (dare I say never) cheaper to keep it if you don't actually live there (which they don't). I would love to leasurely pack for this move, but I don't think I have that option. My back isn't bothering me this week so I should take advantage of it. Sydney seems to be in good spirits and is loving having Adam home this week. Yesterday, I opened all of her toys with dead batteries and replaced them. She appreciated this and is having fun rediscovering her toys.

4th of July

Our holiday consisted of packing, repairs, and eating. I think we packed and repaired more than we ate, but we did have BBQ for lunch and for supper we spent the evening with friends and they prepared all kinds of food that I am still dreaming about. I am almost not hungry this morning, but I am eating toast anyway. Sydney is still asleep. She didn't go to bed until almost 10 last night. Lately, she won't sleep in a pack n play at someone else's house. She did the other weekend at Adam's parents house, but that was just for naps. Last night, there was no way she was going to bed. She was in a good mood being awake so we just let her go on playing.

Adam's mom and I packed a lot yesterday. I kept thinking that I needed to wait until the last week to pack Sydney's room, but there is a lot to do and I guess anything that we can do now will be better. We left her toys, board books, and clothes. Her closet is nearly empty and her walls also. I was a little afraid that she might be confused and wonder what was happening. I think packing is similar to a game she plays all the time. Take stuff out of things and put them in something else. It think this made it fun for her to watch and "help". Yesterday, Adam and I were talking about packing up the kitchen today and leaving what we might need. I don't know if I have the energy for that. I am pretty tired after getting up at 6:15 yesterday and working until about 5. Thankfully, my back pain has let up for the week. It was still bothering me last Saturday, but Sunday morning it was gone...for now.

My mom has been collecting boxes for us from work and we haven't had to buy any. I did go by the Uhaul place to get tape and a box of bubble wrap. This is wear I got my first "comment" of the pregnancy (from a stranger, I have had plenty from friends and family). "You look like you are about to pop!," said the rail thin Uhaul and Sprint store girl. Um, yea. Pop you! I truly believe this comment was brought on by one of the new shirts my mom bought me. This billowy white thing, while cute, makes me look a little bigger than I believe my other shirts do. I guess I will get my responses ready for days ahead. "Thanks, that is exactly what I want to hear." sounds like a good one. Then the skinny girl refused to let me carry bubble wrap to the car. That was very nice of her, but who did she think was going to be packing a house? Bubble wrap would be a joy to carry.

"Vacation"

Adam is not working the rest of this week. You can hardly call it a vacation though. We will be packing and working on the stuff that we need to fix as a result of the home inspection. Thankfully, it isn't too bad. I think we can get a lot done. The only problem is that I am so hungry all the time. I had to get out of bed this morning and eat a banana and then get back in bed for a couple of hours. I just couldn't sleep without having something. I feel that way now. I can't work until I have some food. I have eaten so much already so I don't understand why I am hungry. I thought I might be thirsty instead of hungry. Not the case. I tried cereal and blueberries. Didn't help. I am currently shoving chocolate chip cookies in my mouth. This does not sound promising.

Sydney has started saying "nooo" as clear as a bell again. Let's just hope that she opts to use it for good so we don't have to teach her the difference between appropriate and inappropriate no usage.

An hour later....

I am on my 4th snack and it is only 10:51. I am going to a late lunch with Ragan today. So I need to snack until then. We are running out of food! I think I am scaring Adam.

Laundry Day

Sydney and I are having fun today doing a million loads of laundry. She helps me by picking up the stuff I drop and putting it back on the couch. She also likes to unfold the laundry as I fold it. This is not as much of a help to me, but she is having fun doing it. It makes me work faster and actually put it away in a timely manner. I cleaned out her kitchen cabinet (that holds her snacks and cups and stuff). It looks a lot better and now we won't be moving any old bottles and sippie cup parts that we don't use.

Sydney spent most of the morning trying to put on some shoes that are too big for her. She was so disappointed. When she finally got them on, she just walked right out of them! Poor thing needs some shoes that fit. Her sandals and dress shoes seem to be like wearing socks on our floors. She just slides around. I might try her Keds, but they are size 5 and I am not sure that they will fit because her foot is so small. I was saving them for the fall. They seem a little clunky too. They would probably stay on and at least provide some traction. She really wants to wear shoes. If other people don't have their shoes on she will go find the shoes and put them on you.

Waiting and waiting and waiting

We haven't heard a thing on our offer for the house we want. The Realtor that owns the house has been arranging funeral services because her mother passed away last week. She is aware that there is an offer and wanted it, but hasn't picked it up yet. I feel sure we will hear something tomorrow. We have pretty much decided that we will do what it takes to get the house because it is our best option and the best option that we have seen of all the houses we have viewed over the spring and summer. Getting a good price is our main concern though. We do have private school to think about! Oh, that reminds me of a funny bumper sticker we saw Saturday night " If you think education is expensive, you should try ignorance."

This weekend my mom took me to Target to get something new and to make me stop wearing the same three things all the time. I had no choice because that is all I had! The brown dress, the blue dress (same style), and a black shirt (and a black dress that is too dressy for anywhere, but church or a nice night out so it doesn't count). Now I have a brown t shirt and a white shirt to mix in. Hopefully, that will lift my spirits.

Speaking of clothes, this afternoon I went through some of the boy stuff we have. I am really confused as to what he will need to wear while in the hospital and then when home during this hot time. I know that babies like to be warm so a cotton long sleeved gown might not be that bad, but they also like to be wrapped up all cozy and that will make him too hot. I have a confession. I really can't stand onesies. Their little bare legs hang out and they look like they are missing part of their outfit (I guess they are really. The pants!). Maybe it is the way that they are so snug and stretched down to button at the diaper. I don't know. I do like diaper shirts and the little kimono side button shirts. I found some high quality cotton side button shirts at Marshall's a few weeks back and one of my baby craft books shows how you can embellish them. I might try to do a few for him. They are size 3 months, which I am not expecting to last long on him, but his little fatness can hang out the bottom so I think they will fit him for as long as we need them. I guess I do need a few things to accommodate his size and the weather, but what?

They Change So Fast

I am so glad we have this picture. Sydney was just a few days old and though it was 17 months ago I can still remember how her hair felt and how she couldn't protest if we wanted to kiss her and kiss her. I can't imagine that it will feel any different with the new baby when he gets here. Isn't that amazing? She IS special, but that doesn't make her different. Both babies are special because they are a gift from God. You don't realize how instant your love is until you look back. Adam thinks she is passing the baby stage, but when you kiss her nose now you still kiss the whole thing just like when she was a few days old.

Freezer

I am having a hard time deciding whether to just use everything in our fridge and freezer over the next two weeks by eating it all (well, Adam would help) or by making some casseroles and soups and freezing them for us during the move/baby getting here. After we got home with Sydney, we ate pizza leftovers for a week. I don't want that to happen again. I think that we can wing it for a week after coming home with a baby, but a move may add a few obstacles to that. I just don't know what to expect. My plan had been to freeze food in preparation of the baby, but now I am thinking I may not have the time. Any opinions on whether it would be worth trying to freeze stuff? Also, what do you think about me going to the beach with Adam at 36 weeks? He has a condo for a business trip. It would be just as hard for me to be here alone with the baby and with lots of things packed up so I think I just might as well go. It is just the 6 hour drive the worries me. We can stop as much as we need to on the way so I can walk around and get Sydney out of the car a bit. Did any of you feel like traveling at that point?

Packing and The History of Our Towels

I am hungry and we have no food. I really don't want to go to the grocery store. It is such a chore. I guess I will have to eat pbj and pretzels for lunch or maybe for second breakfast. I wish I had made lunch plans with a friend to get me out of the house. And I guess I wish I had a friend that could actually go to lunch!

I am starting to think about packing We won't know for a few days whether we will be packing to move straight to a house or to storage. That knowledge will definitely influence how we pack. Regardless, I plan to clean out some things so I have started that. I am working on the master bathroom and I have thrown out a whole garbage bag of lotion, makeup and hair products that we don't need. It will feel nice to show up somewhere with just the shampoo that we currently use (Aveda for me and I am liking it). I have specific make up that I use and I am not interested at this point in keeping other make up colors for exploration. I don't have the time. I didn't even put it on yesterday. I will put it on today though. I always feel better (and look better) when I do.

I am hoping to finish with all the toiletries and move on to sorting good towels from old towels. We can use the old towels for packing and padding things during the move. In regards to towels, I am still trying to decide what is the best color. I started out with white because I thought I could bleach them and keep them looking nice and clean. That didn't work because one always ended up on the floor being used as a bath mat and nothing seemed to restore their look. Then we moved on to cream colored towels. This was a problem because They would be confused with the not-so-white towels and end up getting bleached so they lost their nice look. Next, we bought the gold towels from Sam's. We like them but they don't match our current bathroom and we don't have that many so we end up with the "others".

Adam and I agree that the days are flying by at warp speed. Every night we seem to have something going on, whether it is something out of the house or just dealing with and discussing business and other stuff in the house. I am so glad that he is off most of next week. Hopefully, we can devote that time to packing and spending some quality time together with Sydney since her little life is about to change. I feel bad for her for some reason. I guess when I think back over yesterday I can't remember if we played much together. I think we spent most of the day either napping or hanging out at my mom's while the home inspection was being done. She has become more independent in her play time so I guess I am just used to having to entertain her for most of the day. I am a little worried about all the change coming up with moving and then a new baby. I think she will be excited about the baby and she loves the house we are hoping to get. Probably because it is empty and fun to run in and it has lots of doors for her to close.